Let's talk about death

Death is a subject that is not discussed openly. This is not an India specific problem, it is a worldwide phenomenon. It is ironic because it is perhaps one of the few certainties of life (until scientists make some remarkable discovery). In this post, I would like to share what I want upon my death.  A set of Dos and Don'ts

• Do: Donate as many body parts as possible. I do not care if it is for another human being or if is it for some research. It is said that the consent should be given before. I have given my consent at multiple places but I have lost all the consent cards. Let this blog post be my consent. No body part is sacred, no destination is preferred. As long as there is a non-zero utility value, please give it off. 
• Don't: Don't perform any of the rituals on me. Be it a Arya Samaj or Sanatan or anything. I do not believe in the concept of re-incarnation, I do not believe in the concept of Heaven or Hell. No purification rituals are needed, no body cleansing is needed. 
• Don't : Do not donate any new clothes like shawls as an offering. Everybody agrees that it has become an industry now and what you donate will be recycled again and resold. It is a mindless exercise anyways. 
• Do: If any body is left after donation, I would prefer an electric cremation over any other because its carbon footprint is the least. If there is another one that is discovered which is better for environment, use that. But at the same time, it should be a minimal effort affair. If an electric cremation is closer, use that.  If my body is in Himalayas or in vacant lands, just do a burial. There should not be any fuss over religion over cremation. 
• Don't: As much as possible, do not buy any items, that means NO flowers, no Gangajal, no rice, wheat etc etc. A stretcher if needed for the body, re-use one if possible. 
• Do & Don't: Do not perform any havan post death. Instead, donate to any institution that helps in education. Pick any one of your choice and donate. Think how much it costs to do a usual cremation,  avoid all that cost and donate equivalent amount to that institution.
• Don't: Don't do any chautha, 13th, 10th etc etc. Instead remember that life goes on and carry on. Do the formalities and start making plans for future. Go travel to get some change of scenery. 

Bhatia Uncleji... RIP

Bhatia Uncleji lived his life fully with vigor. My earliest memory of him brings into mind his characteristic loud laugh and many many of them. He was proud of his work at dept. science and technology. Wearing his classical Safari suit with a leather bag cum brief case in hand, he was punctually ready everyday. He liked the punctuality of this tempo bus that would take him on time and drop him on time. Later, after he got a car, he carpooled and found really nice friends and had a jolly time in the commute as well.

He always had a soft corner for me. I too liked him since early on. We shared a lot of common interests and that was the reason, we were always at some level more friends, the formal bond of a familial relative was far less with him. Perhaps, it was also his way of living life aspect that I always liked.

He was always the one who liked campa colas and local samosas. With age, his appetite grew less, he would be restrictive but still loved it. He encouraged bets in house and ask for ice cream treats whenever someone lost, which was largely me only.  He had his Kulfi while me and other will revel in the chocolate ice cream.  He liked the road side Chole Kulche and the south indian food but always in moderation. He liked all vegetables, loved home made food and ate it with same passion as one eats in restaurants. He also took us to various 5-star hotels, my first ones and showed us the glimmer of the luxury side.

He loved technology, always an early adopter of computers. He loved being photographed, seeing photographs and liked them if they came out good. He had a good eye for these sort of things. He liked cricket, tennis, kept abreast of news and wanted good for everyone. He was a religious man, narrated the Arya Samaja Prathana by heard with great enunciation. He liked performing Sandhya, did so almost daily.

Where our interests overlapped maximum was both of our love for Radio. Those days, the FM was really good, great RJs, greats songs, and less ads. He would turn it on every morning and I would love to listen it while getting ready. On weekends, he would take it upstairs, do his usual chores all the time while radio was on.  On cold days, he would go to the roof and sun bathe while listening to the radio. He loved sleeping under the Sun on those cold weather days of Delhi, those days before the smog would go away when Sun came.

Outside of radio, we were both big fans of Pradeep ke Bhajan. He had this cassette which he would play in loop and neither of us could get tired of listening.  He introduced me to Pradeep ke bhajan and to this day, I remember him whenever I listen to that album. There is a level of simplicity to these tracks, a philosophy of life and I think both of us understood this and tried to follow some of those tenets.

He loved his time in US. We went to Disneyland, he liked the rides, liked the country, liked the developed-ness of US, in particular the 17-mile drive. He was enthusiastic to travel anywhere we asked to, even though his health had started to give little trouble.


Post retirement, he decided to adopt few students and fund their education. He would study these kids, went and met then and tracked their progress periodically. He was very happy when they got good grades, showed me their report cards. He had this file where he kept all their records, he was very organized in almost all things. He loved playing cards, walking in park and spending time with other people.

Last five-six years have been painful for him. With health deteriorating, he was confined to the home only. His concentration power declined, so did his ability to read books, to watch TV, to use computer, to listen to radio, social circle became very very limited. I personally got frozen whenever I went to his place. I just could not see him being in that situation, my mind would get shut and i could not even communicate with him. He battled strongly but in the end, God really called him. May his soul rest in peace!

Life In July 15 - Oct 8, 2019

Writing this on the fourth day of a four day long break in which we were at home for the most parts. Time indeed flies and today will be gone too but not without a nice blog post :)  It is indeed important to document the mundane as Annie Dillard puts it - how we spend our days is indeed how we spend our lives.

On Day 1, it was a delayed start as I felt little sicker. I had got drenched the day before and wanted to just relax in the morning. After that, it was some bank work followed by exhibition setup at Sobha for Sweet chestnuts. The exhibition was there till night and at the end of it we were tired of it all.

On Day 2, it was home cleaning where we cleaned almost couple of wardrobes, figured out a bunch of old clothes to be donated. In the evening, we went to see Durga Puja pandal nearby and had some good Bengali food.

On Day 3, it was an outing day where we first had breakfast at parents place - breakfast of puri+chana+halwa as it was the navarathri food. Followed by Joker screening, some shopping, a nutritionist consultation and then some work calls at night.

Today is day 4 and there is enough work that I have to get done.  Moving back to the original intent, here is what happened in the last 10 weeks -

Trip to US
It was an official visit, a one after 6 yrs for me. It was a busy one. It was a 18 day trip. Here are the highlights -

- Went to Atlanta first for a day and met Tayaji and Taiji.
- Did a muir woods hike with office colleagues, followed by a brief stint at Muir beach and lunch at Burma super star. Golden Gate vista point stopover was also very cool.
- Met bunch of old friends - Guy, Megan, Modi, Gurshi.  So cool to meet people after a long long time.
- Went to my old hangout places - Castro street, Philz coffee, Ethiopian cuisine, farmer's market in Mountain view.
- Went to Gilroy and then a short hike to Henry W Coe State park.  It was very hot but good fun.  For the night, i went to Pigeon lighthouse hostel.
- Lots of shopping - REI, Kohls, Santana row etc.
- Disappointed to see that Milk Pail had closed out. In general, lots of changes.
- Attended Hamilton play in shnsf. It was pretty good, could have been better if I was not that tired.
- Met all Bay area cousins and had good times. 

Books

Sula by Toni Morrison
A book store browse led me to pick this book up. My first Toni Morrison book. On the story side, I found the book to be decent but in terms of the flow, the characters, it is fairly a pretty good. Not what I will call a classic but a good read.

Exhaltation by Ted Chaing
This is a book of short stories by Ted Chiang (behind the Arrival book - The story of your life fame). I have read three of them now, the smaller ones are more interesting that the really big ones.

Earth Sea books -
Tehanu
The Other Wind
Tales from Earthsea
5/5
There will be a separate blog post for these but all I can say right now is that they are awesome, must read and to be re-read. Huge fan of the series.


Movies/TV-shows

Joker - 4.5/5
Liked the treatment, the background score and definitely acting of Mr. Phoenix. I am not sure why the critiques are calling it cliched, but to me it was a good study of where do villians come from? I would like to watch a movie called - Mogambo or Gabbar.


Ash is the Purest White - 4/5
This is a study of China's growth captured in the backdrop of a story. Very well made and goes in its own page.  Highly recommended. Other movies by this director, Jia Zhangke, are also very good.

Sacred Games - 3.5/5
I read the book last year when season 1 had come out. I finally decided to watch it once season 2 is out. First thought was that Kashyap can make a gritty crime series in India with ease now. He moves from one location to another effortlessly.
- First season follows the book more closely than second season.
- One of the highlights of the book was the banter that happens between the cops, in the police station, how they see the world etc. Much of that is missing in the TV series.
- I also liked the Sartaj's love story with Mary which is missing in the series.
- Saif's muted portrait was a very refreshing change to see in Indian cinema, loved it.
- I had lots of issues with season 2, and none of them are related to the Guruji arc. I thought that it was well done. My issues was Zoya does not get the much respect in tv as she gets in the books and the ending with bomb detonation was too cheesy for me. Like lifted out of some 90s movie.
- Changing the RAW agent from man to woman was a good thing and it was portrayed also very nicely. I do not remember her name now.
- Writing overall is crisp and does its job well.


House - 3.5/5
Rewatching House Tv series with Kanishka. It is a fun series to watch. In season 4 now.

Comicstaan Season 2 - 3/5
Some land well, some do not.  A good time pass series.

Meet the Malhotras - 3.5/5
A quirky show on a couple that goes to a counsellor to resolve their marital issues. Byte sized episodes, all together work like a movie.

Events
- Onam celebration at Elan with typical South Indian food.

- Farewell to Bflat, Indiranagar. Went to a farewell concert to Bflat and celebrated Babu's birthday there as well. Attended a blues concert which was pretty good as well.

- VVpuram street
Had been meaning to visit this place for last 5 years and finally made it.

Being Social

With EH folks

With Vymo and didi Jiju

With RH and Amazon folks

Other

- Travelled to Chennai for a recruiting trip to IIT campus. Good fun time.

- Tried Azul board game and liking it very much for now.

- Got a personal trainer and trying to work out thrice a week. Partially successful at it.

- Trip to Darjeeling was covered in a separate blog post - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/08/darjeeling-2019.html

- My Coursera course on Science of Well being was covered in a separate blog post - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-science-of-well-being-summary.html

- Got a new aquarium with 28 fishes originally. 22 survive as of now.