Sikkim Report - 2019

To write a blog on the first day of a new year, there is some joy to it. 2019 will known as my year of window to North East. Three nights in Kolkatta-Sunderbans in Jan, one week during the Sandakphu trek, three nights again at Darjeeling-TinChulhey and finally a nine day trip to Sikkim.  It seems too much in hindsight but each trip was remarkably different than the other one.

For Sikkim,  planning started three months ago, in early Oct. We knew it had to be North Sikkim but exact locations were not clear. But, as in darjeeling, the transport charges are not based on a per day basis but based on sightseeing points. A Nathula pass trip from Gangtok is 4K, basically every point comes with a charge and you have to think is the point justified for that cost. We reached out again to Mr. Rabi from Trans-Himalayan tours to plan this. Lachen, Lachung are famous tourist places in order to go to Gurudongmar lake and Zero point respectively. Dzongu became a surprise en-route stop location but it is a great place.

The idea to choose Sikkim was to see snow - maybe even witness snowfall. It had snowed there last year, I got to know because roads were blocked and few tourists stranded. Three months before the trip, during planning, I had no idea how this will all unfold. In general, my idea was to go and see it.  Basic outline was this -
Bhagdogra - Gangtok - Lachung - Yumthang - Lachung - Lachen - Thongu - Dzongu - Gangtok - Bhagdogra.

Day 1 -
Our flight from Bangalore was there at 6:30 am. A 2hr 45 mins flight eventually took 4 hrs as the visibility at Bagdogra airport was very low. From airport to Gangtok,  our journey was okay-ish. There is a spot to do Kayaking but we skipped it. Our first night halt was at Hidden Forest - a homestay kind of hotel. They had a very nice library downstairs with good seating. Our dinner included a delicious preparation of Brocolli and onions, along with Matar paneer. A good meal before we were on the road. Hidden Forest has a great collection of orchids and plants all around. The service was okay-ish but stay was peaceful.

Day 2 -
We decided to start the day with a long walk to Ban Jhakri waterfalls. While Mr. Rabi went and got us permit to visit Lachen/Lachung/Dzongu, Ban Jhakri waterfalls was 4km from our stay, a leisurely downhill walk which was made even easier by various shortcut staircases. The waterfalls is within a decently well maintained park which was also almost empty this early in the morning. On the way we stopped at the Gangtok hospital to use its very dirty restrooms, a not so good state to be in for a hospital.

 Our breakfast included Poha and omlette.  The journey from Gangtok to Lachung had many stops in between. Our first stop was at this historic place where a treaty was signed in past between rival tribes to make peace. Before the treaty was signed, the leaders of tribe dipped their feet in animal blood - a tidbit which I found incredibly fascinating. Next stop was at seven sister waterfalls. we climbed some 100+ stairs to get a better view, saw 4 jumps of the fall.

We then stopped at the Phodong monastery. Preparations were on for their annual festival welcoming the new year and other celebrations. They were hoisting a new prayer flag on top of a 20 feet pole. Monastery was all decorated inside, monks were chatting outside. It was getting cooler as we were gaining altitude. We crossed Chunghang, saw the dam  but continued driving. The Teesta river never left our side till we reached Lachung. We stopped briefly at Amitabh Bachhan waterfalls, renamed from Bhewma falls, perhaps because of its height.

Lachung was getting dark by the time we reached there. Its dark by 5:10 pm. We were given a traditional welcome at Norling Zhimkaung hotel. The room had this luxury of having electrically heated blanket bed, a perk which was really useful. On top of this, we even had a heater in our room. We used it sparingly for the fist night.

Day 3 -
Our plan was to stay at Yumthang today, but local knowledge told that it won't be possible. It had snowed on Dec 13-14, even though we were 10 days late, it was still snowy up there. We could see snow covered peaks from Lachung all around us. So, we decided to cut our Yumthang stay and made Norling a 2-night stay. Our morning was again a long walk to Lachung monastery, this one took about 90 mins or so,  with a fair bit of uphill climb and included crossing a bridge which had big holes on the floor.  Lachung monastery was good, again preparations were on for the festival.

We had our breakfast at Katao road house - poha and omlettes again. By the time we got to the checkpoint, it was 10:30 am and the checkpost guy attempted to deny entry to us for apparatenly no reason. He was using local language and perhaps wanted some money for us to be let in. We had the manager of Zhimkang as our guide for the day and he convinced him to give us permit.

Our first point was entry to the Shingba Rhodendron sanctuary. By this time, we were in the middle of snow. A short walk took us deeper into snow. We made our first snowman and played a lot in the snow. We then drove up to Yumthang valley, a beautiful drive, all white around us. Yumthang valley was pretty desolate, like Fargo :) We were almost all alone, soon joined by couple of more cars. Folks from Yumthang had left the place to a warmer one, in this case Lachung.

From Yumthang, our guide to this hidden gem of a place called Domang. We did an hour long walk in this lush yellowish grass forest area, all to us as not many folks know about this. We were under dense trees with snow on them. It was afternoon and it was LOTR like magical land. Very beautiful, pristine and peaceful place. We could have walked more but it was getting dark and we were getting hungry.

Once back, we had our fill of Thukpa and local soup. After resting, I started on my book - Kafka on the shore by Haruki Murakami. In evening, I ordered Chilli panner. Kanishka and I went for some local warm clothes shopping.  We slept early to wake up early

Day 4 -
Our plan was to drive straight to Thangu from Lachung. The road goes back to Chungthang where it take another arm of a Y to go to Lachen en route to Thongu via an army area. An officer scratched our permit for Gurudongmar lake. At Lachen, we got the permit to go to Thangu. Lahen is at 9000 feet and it already had traces of snow. Thangu is at 13000 feet, 1.5 hrs from Lachen and the entire road had snow to its left and right.

As we got closer to Thangu, the snow depth had increased. Other houses seemed deserted, later we learnt that people had gone down. Our homestay had an entrance with 6-8 inches of snow. Thangu was at -1 during day which will later drop to -11 at night. Our homestay did not had any electricity but a generator that will later run from 5 pm to 9 pm. It was very cold as we entered our room. We were the only ones there. We quickly had egg maggi and realized that we were in for a very cold night. The bedroom had a bucket of frozen ice. No water on tap as it was all frozen over. Our room had a wooden heater,  called Bukhari locally,  to provide heat during the night.

Post lunch, we went up for a walk to Alexandra caves. The trail was covered in snow, atleast 6 inch. We walked up for about 40 mins and then came down. The walk gave us warmth. We spent the entire evening spent in the common dining hall sitting next to a bukhari.  Our dinner had ishkush (chow chow) along with spinach and some alu-egg curry.

 After dinner, we had them start on bukhari with wood. We setup alarms after every hr so that we can wake up and add more wood to it. I slept in the exact same clothes as I came. We had three layers of blankets on top of us, one blanket under us. Somehow, we got through the night.

Day 5 -
With the night over, we wanted to just get out of there. We were in for more surprises. We were ready by 7 to get to Gurudongmar lake at 8. We had got special permission with a person from police to accompany us for the trip ahead; he said that he will check with the road condition as well.

By the time it was 8, Mr. Rabi could not start the car as it was pretty cold. He took it down a ramp but that did not help either. We took hot water in thermos and poured it over the filter pipe but that did not budge. We further pushed the car on a down ramp, it started for 2 seconds only to power off again. We were out of luck and ideas. Our next bet was for the Sun to melt the frozen diesel. Luckily, the inn owner was able to arrange a separate transport to see the Gurudongmar lake.

The other vehicle was a Gypsy and there is no road to Gurudongmar lake. It was a very bumpy ride and sitting on the back seat, it was just very bad. At 15,000 feet there was a nice cafe, run by servicemen, serving bonde and jalebis. I had more than I should have, coupled with very cold weather and a bumpy ride made me pukish. At the top of the lake, it was very beautiful but very windy, cold and windy. We stayed for 5 mins before happily getting back in the car. On the way back, we stopped at Chopta valley which was also very beautiful but by this time, I was severely pukish.

Back at the inn, our car had not recovered. I took some avomin and asked the inn owner to arrange for another car, not a Gypsy, to take us back to Lachen.  Back at Lachen, we found our airbnb. I slept after taking Crocin, woke up for dinner and slept again.

Day 6 & 7 -
This was Christmas. I woke up after a 10 hr sleep very fresh. Sun was up  too. We got a good surprising by hearing that Mr. Rabi has also come down to Lachen with our car. Our car can start but only after pushing it. Once started, he will drop us to Dzongu and then drive down to Siliguri. This was a relief as there was no network in Lachen and we were not sure how to proceed.

Post breakfast, which included ladies finger, we walked up to Lachen monastery. It was closed. We walked back and hooped in our car and drove to Dzongu. We stopped at Chungtang dam and then at Mangan for lunch. At Dzongu, mr. Rabi left us. We extended our stay at the Mallaylang homestay to two nights (to make up for the missed Yumthang stay).

At Dzongu, we walked down to the Teesta river. We were reprieved to get away from the cold weather. It was cold at Dzongu but similar to BLR cold. During evening, we sat next to woodfire drinking Chi. Later, we attended Gyatso's presentation on his challenged to save the indigenous lifestyle of Dzongu. He is an activist and has a major contribution in stopping unnecessary dams in the region. He is also very well respected in the community. Homestay is very good.

Next day, we went up to a nearby monastery and then took a guide, Suresh, to give us a local tour of the Lingdem village. We went to Lingdem monastery as well and there a local family was sponsoring a prayer. We got treated to tea and shell roti. VIllage walk was very refreshing. We met a school team celebrating the last day of school before winter break and they offered us rasgullas. We came back for a hot lunch to head to a nice hot spring bath.

The path to this hot spring was very sandy and our car could not climb it up. We came back and our guide got us another ride. The hot spring was really relaxing. Nicely maintained as well, much better than the other hot spring that I had seen at Gaya, still no where close to NZ/US levels.


Day 8 -

We drove down to Gangtok from Dzongu. We bought local pickles, Khabje, shell roti from the homestay. Along the way, we stopped at Dikchu dam and a waterfall. At gangtok, we stayed at Bookmans, a book store with homestay. Gangtok was getting colder. We had a quick lunch at Bookmans and then decided to local sightseeing.

Bookman is very well situated with good many things at walking distance. Gangtok also has very good footpath. We started at the local handloom shop, similar to a govt. emporium.  Post that, we walked up to the flower show near the white hall. Flower show is a downer but Kanishka was able to buy Orchid and Lilly bulbs.

We walked to MG road, it started to rain making it very cold. We walked all levels of Lal bazaar which is a downtown wholesale market. We packed rolls from the Roll house for dinner. Bookman's also has electric blanket, a perk that is very deeply appreciated.

Day 9 -
Day 9 was a Saturday and our plan was to start with Rumtek monastery. Rumtek is one of the oldest monasteries in Asia. It was an hr drive. It is a decent one. Our next stop was the Tibetology museum but it was closed as it was Saturday. Recently, the govt made even the Saturday as a holiday and hence all govt. places were closed today.

We then went back to MG road, had good Nepalese lunch at Humro Bhansa ghar near MG road. Post that, I read my awesome book at Bakers while Kasnishka did some more shopping. Bakers is a good cafe with decent coffee.

At night, we went up to the Deltin casino and gambled away 11K throughout the night. It was full but not excessively crowded. We were able to get drinks and snacks at the table unlike the Goa one. It was a good experience to end the trip.

Day 10 was just drive and back to Bangalore.

Life in Oct 9 - Dec 14, 2019

Holiday season is soon going to be upon us. Our travel plans to Sikkim are almost final. Travel is in the air. December is also the time for Ruhaniyat which is where we are going to go tonight.  Last couple of months have gone up very soon.


Travel -

- Bangalore - Pune - Matheran - Bangalore - Kochi - Bangalore in 100 hrs.  That is a hell of traveling. Matheran is a good place with its best part being that there is no vehicular movement allowed there. Our stay place, Radha Cottage, was 4 kms from the entrance. That meant walking to get there and back too. There were porters available to haul our luggage.  On Day 1, we must have walked 15-16 kms covering all the points.
Day 2 started with us going to Sunrise point to watch an okay-ish sunrise, but followed by other couple of view points. Matheran definitely has a lot of view points to offer, with a bunch of good trails to see them from.
At Kochi, it was sightseeing day - Portugese museum, Dutch palace, BTH meals, Synagogue and lastly at Bamboo exhibition.


- Auroville long weekend trip  - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/11/auroville-trip-2019.html

- A Delhi travel because of this.


Books -

Good Omens - So so awesome - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/11/good-omens-book-and-tv-series-review.html


Movies/TV Series - 

- Good Omens - So so awesome :) http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/11/good-omens-book-and-tv-series-review.html

- Mafia series. Kanishka and myself in preparation for Irishman are now on a series of Mafia series.

- Once upon a time in America
- Goodfellas
- Godfather part 1

All three are classics. Next up in the list is Godfather part 2 and then the Irishman.


Jack Ryan Season 2 - 1.5/5
Quite bad. Too blandish.

Peaky Blinders - Season 1 - 4:  4/5
Very stylish, great acting by Cillian Murphy. 


Weathering with you - 3.5/5
Good creative anime.


The Report -  3/5
Becoming a fan of Adam driver.

Terminator 3 - Rise of the machines - 2.5/5


War - 2/5
Very Very bad 2nd half.

To all the Boys I have loved before - 4/5
Great Rom-com.

Auroville Trip 2019

Auroville, the land of Matri Mandir, some good coffee, a great run place in Feb and almost a non-Indian place in India. Its been some time since we went there, so this time, when Nikesh suggested for a group trip, it was settled for Auroville. Just a day before, there was news of big hurricane over Southern India. Schools at Pondicherry were closed for couple of days before our trip. We were in two minds - to go or not to go. We decided to make the trip anyways with lots of board games just in case we are stuck in our homestay. As luck would have it, it did not rain much and we had a great trip!


Day 1 -
One of the main reason to choose Auroville was to visit Matri mandir from inside. For first time goers, a pass is needed that can only be obtained in person. The pass is available at the visitor center at a time window of 10-11 am and 2-3 pm. Our objective was to reach in between the latter window and all plans were done based on that. We stopped for breakfast at Murugan Idli shop (the same one in Chennai) and it was a very good breakfast. This meal would set this trip as an epic foodie trip.  From here, we did not stop anywhere all the way to the visitor center reaching at 2:45 pm, with 15 mins to get the pass.

At the entrance only, the guard mentioned that the Matri mandir was undergoing renovations and it was closed till 16th Nov. This would now be my third visit where I have missed it. During the first one, I did not know about this place. During second one, I forgot about the in-person pass thingy. This time, I had remembered but Crowley had some other plans.  We still went in and breakfast at the Dreamer's cafe in visitor center. The cafe food was awesome. They make homemade hummus and olive paste. They take olives and grind them to paste and spread it over bread giving it a very nice flavor.


From the visitor center, we went straight to our homestay - Gaia's homestay and rest for a while. Gaia has amazing trees/garden with couple of man-made ponds that make it very peaceful. No network too. Our dinner was done at Tantos post that we went to Auroville beach just to get the night sea-breeze.

Day 2 -
Day 2 plan was simple. Good food and beach. The day started with a majestic breakfast at Auroville cafe. For that food, the food charges are lower than my lowered expectation.  The cafe is closed on Sundays so we made it our plan to have food there on Saturday itself. Food was very delicious and prompt service. From the cafe, we went to Paradise beach, first stopping at the Chunnambar boathouse for the tickets.

There was bit of a queue at Chunnambar boathouse but it cleared soon enough. We took the speed boat. The distance was only for 10 mins between the boathouse and Paradise beach but the wind hitting face with seawater in it made it worth it. Paradise beach is indeed very clean with enough state support of changing rooms, shower and even a rain dance setup. Weather was perfect to go in the bay and the beach is a great one, nice waves and not so rough. Soon, all of us were inside the sea and had a gala time. It was difficult to leave the place once we were tired and hungry, we decided to pick a good place for lunch. Not before a good rain dance shower.

Lunch was done in Pondicherry at this old, cozy and simple restaurant with simple Thalis both South Indian and North Indian. Once back at the homestay, we took showers and slept. I was reading Good Omens book and I could not have cared less if we decided to spend all time in the homestay. Good Omens is a must read. At night, Nikesh found this highly rated inner place in the heart of Auroville - Naturellement cafe. It took a while for us to get there, and that too in all darkness. But the dinner place was worth all this. It served very good food and an even more delightful dessert.

Day 3
We had debated lot of plans for the next day morning, go to Auroville beach, spend more time at the homestay, stroll in Auroville but eventually slept and then had breakfast at Aurolec. Aurolec had opened just for us. Under the trees, it is a peaceful place to relax and do nothing and have good food. We decided to check out the centre for evolutionary consciousness next to it but we were denied entry without prior appointment. It seems like an ashram kind of place. While having breakfast, I read this article on Slate and it was a delightful read.

We decided to head back to BLR but not before stopping at Marc's cafe to buy some coffee. The drive back was good  - we played an interesting game - think of a word that has two or more meanings, in different context. Example - tip, charge. We stopped for lunch at this weird looking place in Tiruvannamalai called Dreaming Tree. On the rooftop of a residential building, it takes you by total surprise. It is a Yogisthaan kind of cafe, an Aurovillian cafe in the middle of nowhere. Full or foreigners, who are just relaxing, I wondered, why are so many people here? Surely, they all could not be travelers.  But regardless, it was very good. Buddha bowl dish was the best and amazing.

Good Omens - Book and TV Series Review

Good Omens
By Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Two words review - Its ineffable.

There is an angel and there is a demon, both assigned on Earth.  The world is going to end, an armageddon is coming. This war is the reason why the world was created. The god's army is preparing a war with the satan's army. Both sides believe they will win. This war will happen on Earth and will destroy the planet. And along with the angel's antique book store and all the Sushi. So will go the Queen's soundtrack and nice Bentley cars obsessed by our demon. Together, they decide to take matter on to their own hands and save Earth.

Goofy, hilarious and very very clever is what Good omens is. In the hands of two people who would become masters of world building and story craft in future from the time book was written,  Good Omens is a prescient foreboding of it all. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, living in different continents would exchange floppy drives with new passages thrown in between.  Good Omens is filled with insane creativity and imagination.

Crowley, our demon, is duty-bound to mess up humanity's existence. While other demons will tempt humans with greed or lust, our Crowley will architect a highway that will cause future traffic jams (and incalculable human pain) while it exists.  The demon is bit more fascinating than the angel, they always are for people like me.  This demon wears shades all the times, even while driving and especially during night, you know why? because it is cool.

The book of Job takes new meaning as the technical work documentation for jobs of angels and demons. Pages are riddles with hilarity, reminding so much of Hitchhiker's guide. The lens to view the world changes after reading this book.  Local surrounding actions can be deemed as the work of either Aziraphale or Crowley.

But at the heart of it all, there is a bit of bad-ass in our angel and our Crowley is also a wee bit do-gooder. In times of armageddon, it is their friendship that wins the hearts of everyone.  This armageddon itself was predicted down to its last detail in the prophecies of Agnes Nutter. There is also an anti-christ, a hellhound who takes the form of a dog whose name is also Dog. The four horseman are now riding bikes and one of them is replaced by a new sin, called Pollution, more suitable to our times. God Omens take known things around us and offers a never thought before Biblical angle that even God did not intend. For all it does, who knows, it may be part of God's plan :)

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Good Omens TV series
Written by Neil Gaiman
with Michael Sheen as Aziraphale and David Tennant as Crowley

It is good that TV series was written by Gaiman himself. This protects the essence of the series. Gaiman understands this medium enough to tailor it. The story is timeless as ever, recent events since the time novel was published adds more flavor. Using Queen's songs as soundtrack provides an excellent background score, makes the book things more visceral. But the best part of the TV series is the casting of Aziraphale and Crowley as Michael Sheen and David Tennant respectively.

I would have watched this show for Michael Sheen even if everything else is removed. But David Tennant, as menacing as he was in Jessica Jones season one, is as Crowley as Crowley could ever be. Both David and Michael nail their respective characters and add more flavor to it.   While Aziraphale's expressions and style of delivery is definitely angel-like, David's walk and mannerisms like a drunk, rich, reveling in the use of modern conveniences and luxuries makes him a likeable devil. David Tennant portrays as if the Crowley was written for himself only.

This TV series is not the greatest ever but it is something that does enough justice to the book and more. Book is more rewarding but viewers of TV series will be content. TV series so far have not been able to do justice to bizarre hilarious books. Tragedy and violence is the primary medium of TV, it comes naturally with all the action and gore. Next to that, it is the drama with sombre mood building and nihilistic characters that is the recent phase. But goofiness and hilarity is difficult to portray. When TV does it in direct manners, the wit is lost and when it is under a symbolic gesture, people fail to grasp it.  Also, wit that comes from wordplay comes more alive in books that verbal utterance.

Take the scene where Crowley is threatening its plants to perform (that is grow fast and be green) else there will be consequences. It works, David pulls it off very well. But in the pages, it is peak hilarity. In the TV series it comes at an odd time, establishes some humor and goes. In the book, it is begins with a natural section, describing the Crowley's home where Hastur is about to come for him. It all seems connected.

But the TV series shines in characterization and soft expressions with the background of music. Michael Sheen must win an award for this.  Just look at this video -







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After the book and the series, there is one more things to be done. Find all other works of Gaiman and Pratchett and devour them

Let's talk about death

Death is a subject that is not discussed openly. This is not an India specific problem, it is a worldwide phenomenon. It is ironic because it is perhaps one of the few certainties of life (until scientists make some remarkable discovery). In this post, I would like to share what I want upon my death.  A set of Dos and Don'ts

• Do: Donate as many body parts as possible. I do not care if it is for another human being or if is it for some research. It is said that the consent should be given before. I have given my consent at multiple places but I have lost all the consent cards. Let this blog post be my consent. No body part is sacred, no destination is preferred. As long as there is a non-zero utility value, please give it off. 
• Don't: Don't perform any of the rituals on me. Be it a Arya Samaj or Sanatan or anything. I do not believe in the concept of re-incarnation, I do not believe in the concept of Heaven or Hell. No purification rituals are needed, no body cleansing is needed. 
• Don't : Do not donate any new clothes like shawls as an offering. Everybody agrees that it has become an industry now and what you donate will be recycled again and resold. It is a mindless exercise anyways. 
• Do: If any body is left after donation, I would prefer an electric cremation over any other because its carbon footprint is the least. If there is another one that is discovered which is better for environment, use that. But at the same time, it should be a minimal effort affair. If an electric cremation is closer, use that.  If my body is in Himalayas or in vacant lands, just do a burial. There should not be any fuss over religion over cremation. 
• Don't: As much as possible, do not buy any items, that means NO flowers, no Gangajal, no rice, wheat etc etc. A stretcher if needed for the body, re-use one if possible. 
• Do & Don't: Do not perform any havan post death. Instead, donate to any institution that helps in education. Pick any one of your choice and donate. Think how much it costs to do a usual cremation,  avoid all that cost and donate equivalent amount to that institution.
• Don't: Don't do any chautha, 13th, 10th etc etc. Instead remember that life goes on and carry on. Do the formalities and start making plans for future. Go travel to get some change of scenery. 

Bhatia Uncleji... RIP

Bhatia Uncleji lived his life fully with vigor. My earliest memory of him brings into mind his characteristic loud laugh and many many of them. He was proud of his work at dept. science and technology. Wearing his classical Safari suit with a leather bag cum brief case in hand, he was punctually ready everyday. He liked the punctuality of this tempo bus that would take him on time and drop him on time. Later, after he got a car, he carpooled and found really nice friends and had a jolly time in the commute as well.

He always had a soft corner for me. I too liked him since early on. We shared a lot of common interests and that was the reason, we were always at some level more friends, the formal bond of a familial relative was far less with him. Perhaps, it was also his way of living life aspect that I always liked.

He was always the one who liked campa colas and local samosas. With age, his appetite grew less, he would be restrictive but still loved it. He encouraged bets in house and ask for ice cream treats whenever someone lost, which was largely me only.  He had his Kulfi while me and other will revel in the chocolate ice cream.  He liked the road side Chole Kulche and the south indian food but always in moderation. He liked all vegetables, loved home made food and ate it with same passion as one eats in restaurants. He also took us to various 5-star hotels, my first ones and showed us the glimmer of the luxury side.

He loved technology, always an early adopter of computers. He loved being photographed, seeing photographs and liked them if they came out good. He had a good eye for these sort of things. He liked cricket, tennis, kept abreast of news and wanted good for everyone. He was a religious man, narrated the Arya Samaja Prathana by heard with great enunciation. He liked performing Sandhya, did so almost daily.

Where our interests overlapped maximum was both of our love for Radio. Those days, the FM was really good, great RJs, greats songs, and less ads. He would turn it on every morning and I would love to listen it while getting ready. On weekends, he would take it upstairs, do his usual chores all the time while radio was on.  On cold days, he would go to the roof and sun bathe while listening to the radio. He loved sleeping under the Sun on those cold weather days of Delhi, those days before the smog would go away when Sun came.

Outside of radio, we were both big fans of Pradeep ke Bhajan. He had this cassette which he would play in loop and neither of us could get tired of listening.  He introduced me to Pradeep ke bhajan and to this day, I remember him whenever I listen to that album. There is a level of simplicity to these tracks, a philosophy of life and I think both of us understood this and tried to follow some of those tenets.

He loved his time in US. We went to Disneyland, he liked the rides, liked the country, liked the developed-ness of US, in particular the 17-mile drive. He was enthusiastic to travel anywhere we asked to, even though his health had started to give little trouble.


Post retirement, he decided to adopt few students and fund their education. He would study these kids, went and met then and tracked their progress periodically. He was very happy when they got good grades, showed me their report cards. He had this file where he kept all their records, he was very organized in almost all things. He loved playing cards, walking in park and spending time with other people.

Last five-six years have been painful for him. With health deteriorating, he was confined to the home only. His concentration power declined, so did his ability to read books, to watch TV, to use computer, to listen to radio, social circle became very very limited. I personally got frozen whenever I went to his place. I just could not see him being in that situation, my mind would get shut and i could not even communicate with him. He battled strongly but in the end, God really called him. May his soul rest in peace!

Life In July 15 - Oct 8, 2019

Writing this on the fourth day of a four day long break in which we were at home for the most parts. Time indeed flies and today will be gone too but not without a nice blog post :)  It is indeed important to document the mundane as Annie Dillard puts it - how we spend our days is indeed how we spend our lives.

On Day 1, it was a delayed start as I felt little sicker. I had got drenched the day before and wanted to just relax in the morning. After that, it was some bank work followed by exhibition setup at Sobha for Sweet chestnuts. The exhibition was there till night and at the end of it we were tired of it all.

On Day 2, it was home cleaning where we cleaned almost couple of wardrobes, figured out a bunch of old clothes to be donated. In the evening, we went to see Durga Puja pandal nearby and had some good Bengali food.

On Day 3, it was an outing day where we first had breakfast at parents place - breakfast of puri+chana+halwa as it was the navarathri food. Followed by Joker screening, some shopping, a nutritionist consultation and then some work calls at night.

Today is day 4 and there is enough work that I have to get done.  Moving back to the original intent, here is what happened in the last 10 weeks -

Trip to US
It was an official visit, a one after 6 yrs for me. It was a busy one. It was a 18 day trip. Here are the highlights -

- Went to Atlanta first for a day and met Tayaji and Taiji.
- Did a muir woods hike with office colleagues, followed by a brief stint at Muir beach and lunch at Burma super star. Golden Gate vista point stopover was also very cool.
- Met bunch of old friends - Guy, Megan, Modi, Gurshi.  So cool to meet people after a long long time.
- Went to my old hangout places - Castro street, Philz coffee, Ethiopian cuisine, farmer's market in Mountain view.
- Went to Gilroy and then a short hike to Henry W Coe State park.  It was very hot but good fun.  For the night, i went to Pigeon lighthouse hostel.
- Lots of shopping - REI, Kohls, Santana row etc.
- Disappointed to see that Milk Pail had closed out. In general, lots of changes.
- Attended Hamilton play in shnsf. It was pretty good, could have been better if I was not that tired.
- Met all Bay area cousins and had good times. 

Books

Sula by Toni Morrison
A book store browse led me to pick this book up. My first Toni Morrison book. On the story side, I found the book to be decent but in terms of the flow, the characters, it is fairly a pretty good. Not what I will call a classic but a good read.

Exhaltation by Ted Chaing
This is a book of short stories by Ted Chiang (behind the Arrival book - The story of your life fame). I have read three of them now, the smaller ones are more interesting that the really big ones.

Earth Sea books -
Tehanu
The Other Wind
Tales from Earthsea
5/5
There will be a separate blog post for these but all I can say right now is that they are awesome, must read and to be re-read. Huge fan of the series.


Movies/TV-shows

Joker - 4.5/5
Liked the treatment, the background score and definitely acting of Mr. Phoenix. I am not sure why the critiques are calling it cliched, but to me it was a good study of where do villians come from? I would like to watch a movie called - Mogambo or Gabbar.


Ash is the Purest White - 4/5
This is a study of China's growth captured in the backdrop of a story. Very well made and goes in its own page.  Highly recommended. Other movies by this director, Jia Zhangke, are also very good.

Sacred Games - 3.5/5
I read the book last year when season 1 had come out. I finally decided to watch it once season 2 is out. First thought was that Kashyap can make a gritty crime series in India with ease now. He moves from one location to another effortlessly.
- First season follows the book more closely than second season.
- One of the highlights of the book was the banter that happens between the cops, in the police station, how they see the world etc. Much of that is missing in the TV series.
- I also liked the Sartaj's love story with Mary which is missing in the series.
- Saif's muted portrait was a very refreshing change to see in Indian cinema, loved it.
- I had lots of issues with season 2, and none of them are related to the Guruji arc. I thought that it was well done. My issues was Zoya does not get the much respect in tv as she gets in the books and the ending with bomb detonation was too cheesy for me. Like lifted out of some 90s movie.
- Changing the RAW agent from man to woman was a good thing and it was portrayed also very nicely. I do not remember her name now.
- Writing overall is crisp and does its job well.


House - 3.5/5
Rewatching House Tv series with Kanishka. It is a fun series to watch. In season 4 now.

Comicstaan Season 2 - 3/5
Some land well, some do not.  A good time pass series.

Meet the Malhotras - 3.5/5
A quirky show on a couple that goes to a counsellor to resolve their marital issues. Byte sized episodes, all together work like a movie.

Events
- Onam celebration at Elan with typical South Indian food.

- Farewell to Bflat, Indiranagar. Went to a farewell concert to Bflat and celebrated Babu's birthday there as well. Attended a blues concert which was pretty good as well.

- VVpuram street
Had been meaning to visit this place for last 5 years and finally made it.

Being Social

With EH folks

With Vymo and didi Jiju

With RH and Amazon folks

Other

- Travelled to Chennai for a recruiting trip to IIT campus. Good fun time.

- Tried Azul board game and liking it very much for now.

- Got a personal trainer and trying to work out thrice a week. Partially successful at it.

- Trip to Darjeeling was covered in a separate blog post - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/08/darjeeling-2019.html

- My Coursera course on Science of Well being was covered in a separate blog post - http://arvindbatra.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-science-of-well-being-summary.html

- Got a new aquarium with 28 fishes originally. 22 survive as of now.

The Science of Well Being - A Summary

Course - The Science of Well Being (Link)
Teacher - Laurie Santos


NYTimes had this article on how a happiness course in Yale is the most popular course in campus and how it is available on coursera as well. Immediately, I was hooked. My motivation was not that I am unhappy but the following - 

• I wanted to understand what makes us happy. If there is a science behind it, I definitely wanted to know.
• If in the process of learning, I can become happier, then why not? 

With this, I immediately enrolled in the course and finished it last week. Overall, I think the course is very well structured and covers both theoretical aspects with practical activities to really make one happy. I will admit that I did not follow the practical activities (called rewirements) to the dot. However, although Dr. Santos claims that "Knowing is not half the battle", it is definitely non-zero and my attempts to get better on them continues on.  

The course is structured in two parts. Every week, we go over some of the theoretical aspects of the science. At the same time, there are exercises such as make more social connections, or meditate for 10 mins. These exercise are designed to bring us more happiness as there is enough evidence to suggest that they really do. In this post, I will summarize the theoretical aspects of this course. 

Warning - This will be a long post.

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What makes us happy? (or  Misconceptions about happiness)

This is a good question to begin this exercise. Here are some common responses and before starting the course, I would also agree to few of them 

• Good Job
• Money
• True Love
• Awesome stuff (car, big tv etc)
• Good Body
• Perfect grades (for those in school/college)

But in reality, none of the above actually makes us happy. There are studies that have shown over and over that we believe that the above make us happy but actually they do not. 

The only exception is money. Money in the initial phase does make us happy, as in, there is a threshold. If your money increases towards that threshold, it indeed gives us happiness but beyond that any increase in money does not increase in happiness.  This threshold exists to take care of our existential needs, better health care, access to clean water, air, house etc.  But once we start earning more than threshold and even if we continue to increase our earning, it makes no difference in our happiness. 

Summary - We are putting our efforts in wrong things, we are prioritizing misleading goals. We believe that such things will make us happy but they do not. 

Reference reading - The How of happiness by Sonja Lyubomomirsky

Why we prioritize wrong happiness goals? Why are our expectations so bad?

This is a very good question as we truly believed that good jobs, money, good body will bring us happiness but they do not. Why is that? The answer lies in Miswanting.

Miswanting - This act of being mistaken about what and how much you're going to like these things in the future.

(Term coined by Tim Wilson and Dan Gilbert)

To really understand miswanting, we need to understand that our mind has certain annoying features. These features distract us from prioritizing things correctly. They mislead us to what will make us happy. 

Annoying feature #1 - Mind's strongest intuitions are often totally wrong.

There are various visual illusions out there, example Muller-Lyer illusion and Shepard tables, where mind tricks us to believe that what is opposite of the real thing. We do not realize because our mind's convictions are really strong about these. 

Annoying feature #2 - Minds do not think in terms of absolutes.

This is really important as our mind always think in comparative reference point.  

• Study - A nice study shows that for every rise of a dollar in income, our mind's perception on what is required to be happy goes up by 1.4$.  
• Study - Social Media : Facebook use leads to low self esteem. 
• Another experiment, two control options
• Option 1 - You get 50K$, others get 25K$ 
• Option 2 - You get 100k$, others get 250K
• 56% prefer option 1.
• Study - TV: TV makes you assume that average wealth of people around you is higher.  More TV watching leads to more happiness.
• Study - TV: Each extra hr of TV makes you spend 4$ higher more than average. 

Our minds are always comparing our worth with other people or other reference points. TV, social media makes these comparisons very easy. 

Annoying feature #3 - Our minds are built to get used to stuff 

Also known as Perceptual Adaptation or Hedonic Adaptation.

Hedonic adaptation - The process of getting accustomed to positive and /or to negative stimuli such that over time, we get used to it.

As we get better job, higher salaries, with time, once they stick around, it becomes the new normal. Our mind adapts to it.  Hence, they no longer give us the same feeling of happiness as we thought they would give us. 

Wonderful things wanes with repetition - Dan Gilbert

Annoying feature #4 - We don't realize that our minds are built to get used to stuff.

This is really the worse one because we don't even realize this self evident truth. When we strive towards a goal, we expect that once achieved, it will have a positive impact on our happiness.  But our minds suffer from Impact Bias, namely - 

• Intensity of impact: We overestimate the overall increase in happiness once we achieve the goal.
• Duration of impact: We overestimate how long will the impact lead to increase in happiness.

In addition,  more experience of impact bias, that is same event happening again and again, does not make it any better.  That is, our minds is blind to this bias and hence there is no learning either. Example, as our salaries improve, it does not mean that we become happier.  The fact that when it increased last time did not lead to increment in happiness does not make us any wiser, we strongly believe that this next increment will make us happier. 

What leads to this impact bias? 

Focalism - When we think about the event, we only focus on that event, but not everything else. This results in the bias.

Adaptability - Our brains are very adaptable. Hence, when events happen, say bad events, we tend to cope up with them. It is a human intrinsic quality.

Reference reading - Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert

How to get out of Hedonic adaptation? What are strategies to reset our expectations?

From last section, we realize that we need to prevent the mind from tricking us into miswanting. In this section, we discuss certain ways to thwart the Hedonic adaption.

1. Savoring - The act of stepping out of an experience to review and to appreciate it. 
2. Negative visualization - Visualize the scenario of what will happen if the goal is not met. How bad will it be? Yes, you will be upset for some time but it is not really the end of this world. Is the present really that bad? This helps break the mind out of the Hedonic adaptation.
3. Make this day your last day - This is not necessarily the last day of your life but let's say the last day of the present. Example - last day of this job. 
4. Gratitude - the quality of being thankful and a tendency to show appreciation of what one has. It has shown that merely writing down 5 things that one is grateful for once a week makes people happy.

Reference Point - Reference point is a salient and often irrelevant standard against which all subsequent information is compared.

Reference point impact our happiness as our brain is comparing our state to this point to deduce happiness. We do not realize how much impact this does on our happiness. We need to constantly recalibrate this point to realize our true happiness. 

• Concretely re-experience: Try to to back to a place (physically) where you were some time ago. Example - go back to a previous job's office. Remember your state when you where there and what your expectations were at that point of time. Compare this to present and how much it meant at that point of time.
• Concretely observe: Say, you want to visit a place or get to a point. Actually go and visit that place and see if really matches with your expectation. Grass is always greener on the other side. We think that it will make us very happy once we reach a place X but in reality, it may not be true. So, actually, trying out that X for some time calibrates this expectation.
• Avoid Social comparisons: This is more important in today's world than ever. There are few techniques to realize this - 
• Stop Technique - Whenever you realize that your mind is comparing to others, just tell yourself to stop it. One has to be little vigilant for this.
• Gratitude also helps a lot in stopping social comparison. If mind is in a state of gratitude, it does less comparison.
• Get rid of social media accounts :)
• Interrupt your consumption/comparison: When one listens to a favorite song in a loop, one starts to enjoy it less with every repetition. Same goes with favorite dish. If you like something, take it intermittently, give some gap between occurrences.  
• Interesting corollary to above point is that, if you do not like something, do all of it one go instead of in piece-meals. 
• Add variety to your consumption: Variety brings new experiences. Also, vary the time between your favorite activity, say having donuts. Make things dynamic.

What stuff really increase our happiness?

Primarily, we can divide the stuff into two categories - 

1. Better Wanting - Wanting the right parts of what we already want.
2. Wanting things that we do not want - could be both known or unknown to us.

Category 1: Better Wanting

#1 Signature Strengths - Get a job that make use of your signature strengths. 

Signature strengths are strengths that (a) you are really good at and (b) Recognized by others as well.

#2 Flow - Find things/activities/jobs that give you a Flow.

Flow - The mental state in which a person performing an activity fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment.

The main features of Flow are - 

• Challenging but attainable goals.
• Strong focussed concentration.
• Activity is intrinsically rewarding.
• Feeling of serenity.
• Loss of self conscious.
• Lack of any physical needs

How to achieve flow -

Flow is achieved when we set out to accomplish voluntarily that is difficult and worthwhile. Typically, it does not distinguish between leisure and work. Since it is voluntary, it takes both one and the same. 

Intrinsic motivation - Engaging in a behavior because you enjoy the activity itself. 

Extrinsic motivation can undermine intrinsic motivation Focus on grades (external) undermines learning (intrinsic). 

Activities that has intrinsic motivation helps with in achieving flow. 

#3 Growth mindset 

Growth Mindset - The belief that intelligence can be trained, basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

As opposed to fixed mindset which says that intelligence and traits are fixed traits. In fixed mindset, difficult tasks do not lead to change with time. In growth mindset, performance increases over time. One can learn to get to a growth mindset. 

Category 2: Wanting the stuff that we don't realize

#1 Kindness

Opportunities to be more kind to others. Studies show that happy people are more motivated to be kind. Consequently, happy people also act more kindly towards others. 

#2 Social connection

Happy people have strong close friends, strong family ties, better romantic ties. How much time you spend alone vs with friends/family/lover. Happy people spend more time in socializing. 

Also, social connections works with strangers too. Random talks with strangers increase happiness.  In general act of being with somebody leads to happiness.

#3 Time Affluence

Time Affluence = Feeling like you have enough time for doing things that you would like to do. 

Prioritizing time over money makes people happier. We should invest in time affluence. 

#4 Mind Control

Mind rarely sticks on the task that we are working on. Known as mind wandering.  Wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Meditation helps in controlling mind wandering.  Studies show that meditation helps in making brain tissue. Meditation makes us happier.

#5 Healthy Practices

- Exercise

- Sleep

This is largely self explanatory. 

How to put strategies into practice?

How to focus our energies to increase Kindness, Social Connection, Time Affluence, Mind Control and Healthy Practices. 

Strategy - Situation Support

• Fix bad environment - Get rid of stuff that is tempting to you. Clean your workplace. Throw out the sugary stuff that you don't really need.
• Promote healthy environment - Have fruits visible and open. Have a social group to share positive things. Start a meditation group.

Strategy - Goal Setting

• Goal Specificity -  The degree of quantitative precision with which a goal is specified. Create goals that are very specific. 
• Goal Visualization - Visualize the end of the goal. Use mental contrasting. Mental contrasting = A visualization technique involving first thinking of a positive future outcome followed by thinking of obstacles. 
• Goal planning - Implementation intention = A self regulatory strategy in the form of an "if-then" plan that can lead to better goal attainment

Strategy -  WOOP = Wish Outcome Obstacle Plan 

• Wish - Think about your Wish. What is the most important wish in life for today/next 4 weeks/this year? Isolate one important wish. Search for it. What is it that I want?
• Outcome -  What is the best outcome if I fulfill my wish? Search for this best outcome. Imagine and experience this best outcome. 
• Obstacle - Potential Obstacles that can hamper your accomplishment of goal. What stops me from this experience? What is my main inner obstacle? Can be a bad habit, inner behavior etc. Imagine the obstacle, experience it
•  Plan - Your If/Then Plan.  Muscle memory actions. Once you identify the obstacle, what can I do to overcome the obstacle. Go to details of this obstacle and create a plan for this, when you get to that obstacle.

Why WOOP works - 

• Cognitive : Links the future with the obstacle. And then the obstacle with the plan to overcome the obstacle. WOOP allows to trigger these non-cognitive response. Recognizing the obstacle is very important. and plan makes the implicit obstacle to explicit, 
• Motivational : It creates motivation which drives energy. 
• Feedback : Negative feedback (when you are not able to work towards the outcome) is not a threat, it s a mechanism to identify more obstacles and then put into a plan

Do WOOP every morning - 5 minutes uninterrupted and you will start to see the difference over time. 

Reference reading - Rethinking positive thinking by Gabriele Oettingen

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The psychological triggers of happiness are very different than the materialistic aspirations that we have. The course first deconstructs these materialistic views which we believe will give us happiness but in reality it is the opposite. The soft aspects such as exercise, gratitude, meditation are the real triggers for happiness. Once told, it appears to be evident. 

The challenge lies in how we orient ourselves to optimize for these latent aspects. WOOP is one such framework for it. Fixing situations, setting right goals are all methods to achieve happiness. While knowing is not half the battle, atleast with knowing and acknowledging, one can take steps in the right direction. 

The above is a cheat sheet. I would recommend everyone to take the course and go over the process on their own. It is worth it.